Different words / Разные миры
Jul. 9th, 2025 01:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fox_in_me
📝 Оригинальный текст записи
Добрый день.
Надеюсь, мои записи ещё помнятся. Хочу оставить короткий очерк после долгого молчания.
За это время мне удалось побывать ДОМА — и это, без преувеличения, главное событие. Возвращение стало одновременно и радостью, и моментом внутреннего перелома. Война продолжается, и находиться на службе, при этом иногда иметь возможность переночевать в родных стенах — бесценно. Сотни тысяч людей лишены даже этой капли нормальности. Я стараюсь сосредоточиться на главном: противостоять внешним обстоятельствам и ценить каждый спокойный вечер.
Сейчас борюсь с мыслями. Стараюсь снизить их шум, убрать лишнее.
Стоит отметить: уже несколько месяцев в Украине приостановлено финансирование многих программ, связанных с ментальным здоровьем и реабилитацией. Это серьёзно сказалось — мне не удалось найти психолога даже на волонтёрской основе, хотя бы онлайн. Но я не оставляю эту цель.
Больше всего изматывает количество лжи — и внутри страны, и за её пределами. Не хочу углубляться в подробности, но разве знают люди за границей, как выживают те, кто живёт вдоль линии фронта — от севера до юга? Кто им рассказывает об этом? Показывают ли?
Это похоже на то, как подаётся информация о Секторе Газы: в новостях — только шум, искажённая картинка, создающая иллюзию.
Для жителей прифронтовых районов артиллерийские обстрелы и удары дронов стали привычным фоном. Косить урожай под прицелами — норма. Уничтожение техники, жилых домов, жизни — преступления, за которыми не следуют действия. Только громкие слова.
Никто не говорит, когда это закончится. А у меня иногда ощущение, будто кто-то знает — с точностью до дня, когда земля перестанет насыщаться кровью.
Может, это совпадение, но недавний обмен ударами между Ираном и Израилем сразу отразился на фондовых рынках. Думаю, взаимосвязь очевидна.
И всё же — Одесса осталась Одессой. Столицей шаурмы, как я люблю шутить. Я наконец попробовал то, что хотел.
Наконец-то могу просто принять душ — с обычной, чистой водой без запаха из крана. Редкость. Даже выбрался на природу вместе с котами — всего на несколько часов, но это была радость.
Хочется многое успеть после долгого ограничения, но в то же время — я всё больше стремлюсь к тишине и покою. Даже под обстрелами я редко просыпаюсь, если рядом не падает. Но просыпаюсь от своих тревожных мыслей.
Внешние враги остались, но теперь опасность приходит изнутри. Хочу разобраться в этом, шаг за шагом — вылезти изнутри себя и снова увидеть мир.
И да… в последнее время я всё чаще слушаю просто фортепиано
Note translated in assistance with AI.
Good afternoon.
I hope these diary notes are still remembered. I'd like to leave a short reflection after a long break.
During my absence, the most important thing happened — I made it home. That return was both a joy and a kind of inner turning point. The war goes on, and being on duty while sometimes having the chance to sleep in my own house is priceless. Hundreds of thousands don’t even have that. So I focus on what I can: resisting external pressure and valuing every peaceful moment.
I keep wrestling with my thoughts, trying to quiet the noise in my head.
A few months ago, funding for mental health and rehabilitation programs in Ukraine was cut. This had a big impact — I couldn’t find a psychologist, even online or on a volunteer basis. But I haven’t given up.
What wears me down the most is the overwhelming amount of lies — both inside the country and beyond. I won’t get into details, but does the world truly know how people live near the frontlines? From the north to the south — across this whole country? Is that shown? Is it told?
It reminds me of how the media covers Gaza — just noise, a blur that distracts and misleads.
For people here, daily shelling and drone strikes are now routine. Harvesting crops under fire. The destruction of farming equipment, homes, and lives — war crimes, but with no real consequences. Just loud speeches.
No one says when it will end. Yet sometimes I feel like someone does know — right down to the exact day the land stops soaking in blood.
It might sound strange, but when Israel and Iran exchanged missile strikes recently, the global stock markets reacted instantly. There’s a connection — that much is clear.
And still, Odessa is Odessa — the shawarma capital. I finally got to try the one I’d been craving.
For the first time in months, I could take a normal shower with clean water — no strange smells from the tap. Even managed a short trip to nature with my cats.
After so many limitations, I want to do everything — yet crave silence and rest. Even during air raids, I rarely wake up unless it’s really close. But I do wake up from my own thoughts and fears.
The external enemy remains, but now there’s a threat within. I want to face it, sort it out — and step by step, climb out of myself and see the world again.
Lately, I’ve found myself listening more and more to solo piano music.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 12:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 04:33 pm (UTC)I remember 2022 and 2023, when there were a lot of international journalists in Ukraine.
Now, it feels more like just an opportunity to spend time in the country and earn money because of the war situation.
There’s much less attention, because everything that’s happening has become “regular” — just like in the Middle East.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 12:53 pm (UTC)With regards information we get loads here in the UK. It's on the news channels daily. BBC also do a dedicated update programme called Ukrainecast which discusses all things happening including Trump's current thoughts and plans although he changes his mind as often as he changes his socks! I listen to the Telegraph newspaper's podcast daily, it's called Ukraine the Latest. It gives precise front line changes plus Ukrainian successes with drone strikes in Russia and the Black sea. The one with the covert and well planned mission to destroy Russian aircraft on the ground was brilliant (operation spiderweb). They also have Ukrainian guests; politicians, working people, Ukrainian journalists etc who talk about their lives etc. All in all we are very well informed.
ETA: I forgot to say the podcast always tells us the number of drones launched against Ukraine each night (hundreds) and the damage caused/people killed and injured. Also how many strikes Ukraine made on Russia.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 04:51 pm (UTC)i'll try to explain You a small but a very important thing:
-are You sure, that all this information is true? aspecialy ammount of countermeasured drons and ather air targets? There is no truth. May be only tottal amount of targets, but nothing more.
I'm not sure about "spiderweb", yes, that taked place, but to manu quastions. Nobody will have a true information about the results. I'm justr truing to say - yes, we are making hits, but in a same time how much we lose? I saw to many piople in desappear. Later on i`ll wright more, but for example of "smth is wrong" - on a market, local appricots are much more expensive, than from Spain!
I'm sure, nobudy tell you about what is duing our goverment, still without any action for the peoples or for the wictory.
And for sure, no information, how militaries cathing people on a street , like with slaves in a dark times.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 04:28 pm (UTC)I hope you're able to find any help you need. (((HUGS)))
I watch CNN. It's often on in the background as I meander about the house. When the war first broke out, it was on constantly, every day. Hours a day. They showed footage of reporters driving on bombed roads, walking in towns that had been bombed, even through some of the damaged buildings. They showed people walking away from areas being bombed. They have shown and interviewed troops on the front lines. They've shown people who chose to stay in their bombed-out towns because they feel they have nowhere else to go. But other things have pushed Ukraine into the background. If there is a major strike on either side, we tend to hear about it.
Recently, Tr*mpos was asked why they'd paused shipments of weapons to Ukraine, and he said he didn't know about it. He actually said to the reporter who asked, "I don't know. You tell me." It was later reported that the secretary of defense (who was sitting next to him when the reporter asked the question... and who sat there silently, even knowing HE had done it) canceled the shipments, but didn't tell anyone. This guy should have been canned. This whole admin is unqualified and has no business running anything. Anyway, Tr*mpos now says he will resume shipments. I was glad to hear that. Apparently, he JUST realized that P*tin has been lying to him and stringing him along... something anyone with an ounce of intelligence knew years ago.
So yeah, in a nutshell, we tend to get news on major strikes and not much else these days. But I know the war goes on, and I think about you and your country and pray the war will end soon, and rebuilding can begin. I'm not sure that will happen with P*tin still in charge. I think if he fails, that's not going to land well with his country. I wish someone who favors democracy would overthrow him. But it's so rigged. And he kills off anyone who opposes, betrays, or fails him.
And I see that's what Tr*mpos is doing here. He's paid off or bullied people into having loyalty to him over the people of our country or the Constitution, which they have ALL sworn to abide by and protect. What we have is a bunch of criminals and sycophants in charge, with no one who has the power to stop them because they've paid everyone off. It's so frustrating. They're starting to go after people who oppose them, trying to toss them in prison. They're definitely pushing for a dictatorship to emerge, and they've stacked the highest court to give him full power, which is against our Constitution. I'm actually a little surprised that he agreed to send more weapons to Ukraine. He must be really upset with P*tin.
I've always enjoyed classical piano. Even though I'm more of a Classic Rock kind of person, I do listen to other things, including piano pieces. Thanks for sharing the link. I'm glad you have music to listen to, some time at home, and time with your cats and nature.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:15 pm (UTC)I truly appreciate all of your words — they mean a lot.
Let me offer just a different side of this situation, maybe just for the sake of thinking about it from another perspective?
Since 2022 and 2023, not much has really changed. For example, in areas where the enemy is taking our land — there’s almost no information on TV. These are eastern and northern regions of Ukraine.
People in the major city of Sumy are living in disaster-like conditions. The same goes for Kherson, Zaporizhzhia, Kharkiv, and Chernihiv. There are constant attacks, rarely a single day of silence — and no one seems to be doing anything real to stop it or protect the ordinary people.
This is just my opinion, but maybe — like many Ukrainians now feel — we’re living under our own form of dictatorship too. Similar to what you described about Trump, we’ve been under this for years.
It’s not only Putin’s fault. The tragedy is also that we have no leadership capable of clearly recognizing the situation and trying to save what we still have — instead of selling it off through weapons and corruption. There will always be shortages of everything, and nothing is given for free. Everything requires money. But how are we really getting that money?
As long as Zelensky remains president, I believe we’ll continue to face the same problems — dictatorship, and endless war.
Sadly, there’s a massive illusion in the world about what’s really happening inside Ukraine.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 11:25 pm (UTC)I hope there is someone you can look up to who can lead your country. The war is terrible and never should have been allowed to happen. I wish peace and freedom to all. Despite all the burdens you must suffer through, I hope you can find some moments of solace in pleasant things, like piano pieces and your cats. Even if it's only a few brief moments here and there, I hope you can find some happiness to focus on now and then.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-14 06:58 pm (UTC)It really means a lot to me that you support this with your heart and soul.
I don’t really want to talk about reasons or consequences — the one who started this, Putin, is definitely a fascist and guilty.
But there are also others who are making money from all this blood, using it for their own interests.
The world won’t be the same after this.
What kind of world it becomes — we’ll only know much later.
Maybe it will all end in one moment.
There are no right or honest predictions about the future — the only clear thing is that millions have already suffered, both mentally and physically.
The next generations won’t be united. Everyone will have their own life and their own truth.
We live in a time when some people were lucky enough to avoid the war… and others, following their feelings, stayed and became prisoners — held by duty, or by emotions.
Sorry if this message sounds sad.
But that’s what I feel inside.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 05:09 pm (UTC)держитесь, пожалуйста.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 07:46 pm (UTC)Хватило бы человечности у этих всех, прекратить это. Насытится теми деньгами, что уже обрели за эти годы.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 08:35 pm (UTC)I won’t get into details, but does the world truly know how people live near the frontlines? From the north to the south — across this whole country? Is that shown? Is it told?
As gwendraith says, quite a lot of information is available to us in the UK. But it's clearly never going to be more than a tiny window into the lives of people like you who are actually living the war. I remember, long ago, my grandmother (who lived through the Bristol Blitz in WW2) saying that while her American friends were kind and sympathetic, they could not truly understand what it was like to have frequent air raids, to have relatives on the front lines, to have constant restrictions on food and movement and everyday life, etc. We in the UK are like those American friends.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:23 pm (UTC)Thank you for the comment!
Just in a few words — the "window" shown in the news only reflects what they choose to show.
The same goes for the false narrative about the attitude toward our president.
The real opinion of Ukrainians — those who actually live here and feel all of this every day — is very different.
Meanwhile, we keep traveling from country to country with an outstretched hand, constantly asking, asking... and slowly selling off our independence.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 10:02 pm (UTC)і ще більш радісно, що ти тепер маєш можливість побути в рідних стінах.
зміни, навіть на краще, можуть відчуватися - і часто відчуваються ще й додатково тривожно, це абсолютно природно. тобто все стає cпокійніше, а всередині тривожніше. проте кожен спокійний вечір, сподіваюся, додасть тобі сил і сприятиме відновленню.
стосовно людей закордоном та інформації про війну, нещодавно був такий випадок, місцевий телеканал в США, в Маямі, здається, зробив репортаж про масований обстріл Харкова, тільки у відеоряді замість Харкова була невідома пустельна місцевість з розбомбленими будівлями, а також натовпом, де помітні жінки в хіджабах. тобто, ймовірніше, відео з Гази. на ютубі телеканалу багато хто писав, що це помилка, але вони відреагували десь через три дні. таке враження, ніби просто якась цілковита байдужість в цьому плані.
музика просто чудова, дякую, що ділишся.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-09 11:12 pm (UTC)Kudos to the UK for keeping this information current.
I think of you, and am glad you are posting again. Take care of your kitties.
And, to end, I love the piano solos you posts. They are so relaxing.
Democracy dies in silence. Democracy dies in darkness.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:33 pm (UTC)Three years of war — and now it’s just a few regular minutes in the global news… That’s the result.
We have no horizon here, no sense of when or how this will end. Not even in our imagination — because the whole process is being managed from the outside, not from within.
And democracy... it has already collapsed. Completely.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-10 09:35 am (UTC)правда, вона дещо інша композиційно і за настроєм:
https://soundcloud.com/pdis_inpartmaint/anna-rose-carter-carys
https://soundcloud.com/pdis_inpartmaint/anna-rose-carter-silver-lines
https://soundcloud.com/pdis_inpartmaint/anna-rose-carter-grey-lady
на ютубі, на жаль, немає ((
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-16 09:22 am (UTC)Дякую.
Сподіваюсь з Тобою все добре.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-16 10:52 pm (UTC)у мене теж було відчуття, ніби щось знайоме – але скоріш внутрішне, бо ця піаністка майже невідома.
все добре, дякую )
тоді ще поділюся, можливо, сподобається: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-hQz-JCDHY&start_radio=1
теж solo piano music
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-17 11:17 am (UTC)також поділюся піснею, що раптова всплила у рекомендаціях, з відлунням минулого і так само зараз дуже актуальна:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6HbPUgjW5g
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-17 06:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-21 06:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-22 03:37 pm (UTC)https://youtu.be/7sm6jrpKO2U?list=RD7sm6jrpKO2U
дякую, що ділишся, хороша музика може підтримати.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-22 06:55 pm (UTC)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQOll8Lwvts
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-22 08:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-10 02:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:36 pm (UTC)Unfortuatly i have not enought time to read all notes (
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-11 06:58 am (UTC)Here in Spain I feel information about Ukraine has been given less and less consideration as the war advanced and other conflicts scalated. At the beginning of the war Ukraine was getting a lot of coverage, the news showed a lot about how people lived and how the circumstances were both with people who decided/had to stay and those who were leaving the country, but now we just don't see much. Most of what they show is politics related, meetings with world leaders, and a few notes on the field, but it doesn't take a big part of our news anymore, and this is not fair. The other day I was talking with a friend about this, because I feel that the world just "gets used" to the fact that there's a war (in Ukraine or anywhere) and we forget the human side of it (not because we want to forget, but because they stop showing it, so it just fades away). I feel they give it a "political coat of paint" when they talk about it (at least in here), to don't have to show the horrible personal stories that hide inside every human that is affected by the situation.
I am glad you could enjoy some little pleasures, like having a shower, or a walk in the nature with your cats. I am thinking of you <3
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 05:45 pm (UTC)Sadly, yes, the world just got used to this war, and it seems like even the population here did too — but that’s only how it looks on the surface. Someone benefits from this situation, clearly... but still, no one is actually trying to stop it.
Just like many other wars — started without a clear goal, without real reasons. Who even remembers now how all this began? People’s mood today is nothing like it was in the beginning. Everything changed once eyes opened to the truth.
Spanish products are now cheaper than those grown right here in Ukraine — that’s absurd, isn’t it?
Today I bought Spanish apricots because they are literally cheaper than our local ones, even though they grow all around us. And that’s just a small example…
Vacation in Cyprus now costs less than a hotel stay in Odesa. That’s the reality…
Thank you again for your care. I just don’t have enough time yet to read your posts properly or give attention to literature.
And I still haven’t found the things that can truly give me peace and rest — it’s not so easy, with the current emotional state.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-11 10:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-12 04:29 pm (UTC)Thank you for your words.
This world is dangerous — you're right, and it was like that even before.
Nowadays, even the little things seem much bigger, and it also depends on the surrounding circumstances.
To be honest, I'm just looking for something that can help me relax and enjoy the world around me — and it's difficult to find, even with so many options.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-16 12:00 pm (UTC)Please take care and enjoy the things you can! ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-17 09:38 am (UTC)Time will show everything and put it in its place.
It really takes a lot of time to heal the wounds inside — that’s true.
Right now, I try to enjoy simple things at home, to distract myself from everything happening around.
Thank you again for your care and support.
That’s exactly what I’m doing now — trying to focus on what really matters.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-18 07:02 pm (UTC)I can't really imagine what it's like, yet I often do try.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-07-21 06:47 am (UTC)It’s true — in a storm of emotions, it’s really, really hard to realize and accept things as they are.